Best dream of all time

For some years, I kept a dream blog over on http://www.livejournal.com, user name sarahspade. I also kept extensive bound journals of my dreams in years past, especially in college. The original purpoase of this was to develop my lucid dreaming capabilities. In the now out-of-print book Creative Dreaming, the author, Dr. Patricia A. Garfield, suggests writing down what you remember as one of several techniques for improving dream memory and, eventually, control of the plot of the dream, which is what lucid dreaming is all about.

I’ve stopped sharing my dreams, mainly because I don’t have the time, but also because I recently became aware that most people don’t give a shit what you dreamed last night. Greg Behrendt, the standup comedian, does a little bit on this. “They’re your own private movies,” he says. You never realize what a moron you sound like to your friends when you’re telling the story. This one, however, was too good not to share: I murdered both Sarah Palin and Christine O’Donnell.

With kitchen knives. Very satisfying. I nailed Palin first. The secret is to use two 8″ or longer blade chef’s knives, one in each hand. She had her back to me, making a phone call. She was in her usual corporate uniform of skirt suit and back high heels. I thrust both knives in, pinning her against the wall like a pithed frog, and moved one blade around like I was comitting seppuku. Oddly, I didn’t get any blood on myself. Her blood spurted in several directions, but not on me. Since I had to reuse the knives on O’Donnell, I had to pull them out of the wall, whereupon Palin managed to stagger away for a few steps until she died standing up on a staircase, cell phone still in her hand.
 
O’Donnell, being completely naked, was defenseless against my two-fisted approach. She didn’t even put up a fight.
 
To quote Bugs Bunny, lo-o-o-ove it!